By Lauren Denos: 11/2/2015 (Mindset)

 

When it comes to body image issues and eating disorders, one of the problems people face is that it is not just about the weight loss, it is about who we think we are going to be once we loose the weight.

We see our weight as this thing that is holding us back from being who we were meant to be. Maybe we think once we lose the weight we are going to be more out going, more successful, have more inner peace, our relationships will get better. We see weight as the thing that is holding us back from doing the things we really want and being who we think we really are.

The reality of it is, you do not need to lose weight to be this person.

You can live the life you want now, you can be that person you want to be now. But make sure you are not just aiming to become someone else because you do not like who you are and you think society will like you more as someone else. Wanting to become a better version of yourself is different than wanting to be someone else.

Be honest, is this person you are seeing yourself as when you lose weight really you, or are you thinking of yourself as someone else entirely? If you are an introvert do you really think that you are suddenly going to become an extrovert? Do you think you are suddenly going to be a happier, nicer person? Are you suddenly going to pursue an acting career? Be honest here. Because if there is something you really want to change or pursue, you can do that without losing weight.

The truth is you do not want to just lose weight, you want to be a whole different person because you feel that you are not good enough, but no amount of weight loss is gong to fix this issue. It is never enough, you are never thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough. This is why you will lose the 10 or 50 lbs you think is holding you back and then you realize that you actually need to loose more, or that you need to fix something else about yourself before you can be who you really are "supposed" to be. You are right in a way, there is something else you need to fix, and that is the way you see yourself.

You can start living the life you want today while you are still working on becoming healthier or improving yourself in some other way. If you give yourself permission to start enjoying your life and living the life you want to live now, you are not going to just give up on getting healthier, but you do not have to use it as an excuse of why you can not do the things you want in life.

What you can do

  1. Think about the “magical” life you will have when you lose all the weight you want to lose. List all the things you think will happen and who you think you will become.

  2. Next look at each one of these and ask yourself if this is really what you want? Is this what you want or what you think you should be? If it is something you really do want, keep it, if it is something you realize you thought you wanted and is not really important to you then it is time to let it go and make peace with not having or being this specific thing.

  3. Once you decide what things you actually do want in your life or traits you would like to posses start adding them into your life now, or at least put the plan together and start putting it into action. If you have always wanted to be a competitive athlete then join the teams necessary for you to start learning the skills. If you have always wanted to be a more social person then take the steps necessary.

  1. Stop focusing on what other people are accomplishing or how amazing they are. Especially if you are paying attention to social media. You are only seeing their highlight reels, there is a lot more going on behind the scenes than you know. If you saw everything going on in their life you would probably think you are doing really well by comparison. Pay attention to what you are seeing and how it makes you feel. If something makes you feel bad on Facebook for example then hide those posts, you can add them back in when you have finally come to terms with your own self and how wonderful you are.

Before you know it 10 years will have passed by. How many years do you want to wait before you finally start doing what you want, start being the person you want to be. Do not wait, you do not want that regret. Start now!





 

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