By Lauren Denos: 7/31/2015 (Ask Lauren)

Dear Lauren,

I know that you talk about being more confident in my body, but I am hating how heavy I am. How can I feel better about myself when I always have my heavy body looking back at me in the mirror?

Thank you,


Dear Nancy,

I know this is a tough one. But the thing is you are always going to be a work in progress. I have seen this with clients and I have lived it myself. You will think that your confidence in your body will be better once you lose that extra 10 or 20 pounds and sometimes it helps a little bit, but what usually happens is you will just get to that point and think about how you need to lose more weight, or you will see other flaws.

This does not mean that you should stop working towards getting healthier, it simply means that you should be focusing on what you do love about yourself in the process. You are going to be working on your health either way, you might as well make it more enjoyable and like yourself in the process.

What you can do is everyday notice at least one thing or more that you like about yourself. Stay focused on that. Find as many things about yourself you like as possible. You may not be super slim, but are you strong? Although it may sound a bit risque, a lot of women when they have more weight love their chest. You should not only look at the physical things you like about yourself but also the stuff that does not rely on your body shape. For example, are you very knowledgeable in a specific field, are you great at a specific job, task, hobby etc.

The point is to find at least one thing that you love about yourself and whenever you are dealing with the negative self talk that comes in, repeat those things you like about yourself. And remind yourself to be patient. Getting healthy is a process, not a quick thing, but regardless of where you are at you should continue to enjoy the ride as much as possible. Write a list of all the things you like about yourself and read it morning and night every day! Check out this article, it goes into more detail about body image issues.




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