By Lauren Denos: 3/23/2015 (Mindset)

Happiness helps us stay healthy.

I think most people already know this, and if you did not know it before, you do now. The problem is once you find your happy place, how do you keep it?

You may have found your zen, time and time again when you are by yourself meditating or off on a quiet walk in nature. It is usually when we are alone that we find this peace of mind and happiness. The problem is then we have to come back to our daily lives of dealing with other people, and they are not always a great catalyst for feeling good.

Do you let people ruin your good mood?

How often have you gone to the store when you were feeling great, and then you get pushed by that one rude person who is rushing around and not paying attention to anyone else? Or the cashier that is snippy with you for no specific reason? How do you deal with these kind of bad attitudes and keep your happy state of mind going?

A big thing you can do is learn to be understanding and compassionate.

There are many people fighting battles that you know nothing about. That person who shoved their way past you in the store may have just lost their job and are freaking out about how they are going to make ends meet. The cashier may have been yelled at by someone before you and are thinking that everyone is out to get them today. When you look at it this way you will actually wind up feeling sorry for them, and you might think back to a time when you might have felt like them.

It is not personal.

It can be very easy to think that if someone is being snippy or rude to you that they are purposely targeting you. Do not take it personally. It generally has nothing to do with you. They are either just like this to everyone or a lot of little things are setting them off, but it is not you they are upset with. When you come from a place of understanding that they have something else going on in their lives, it is much easier to not take it personally.

Change the tides yourself.

Beyond not taking it personally and understanding, if you would like to feel even better and help spread that good feeling around, smile at others whenever possible. It is contagious. Also, compliment others. It will make you both feel good and it just may change their sour mood. I find that in most circumstances, when I compliment someone who was acting rude or upset, they start to shift their mood right away. That has a ripple effect. They wind up getting in a better mood and start acting nicer to other people, and so the change continues with other people who were in a bad mood.

Be good to yourself too.

Does this mean that you should let people treat you badly and walk all over you? No! If you are around people who are rude all the time and are consistently bringing you down or taking it out on you, then you need to say something to them. It is not okay for someone to consistently be rude to you. You deserve better than that. Just bring it up in a nice and supportive way.

You do not have to fix everyone.

On the other hand, there are some people that just seem want to be miserable and you cannot fix that. You may work with someone like this. If that is the case, and talking to them about the situation did not help, then keep your distance as much as you can and just keep in your mind that it has nothing to do with you. They are unhappy about other things that have nothing to do with you. The best thing you can do is be happy with what you have. It may serve as an example to them of what they could have if they choose it.


Every day before you go anywhere, remind yourself that you are going to be understanding, kind and compassionate. You will surprised at how it starts to sink in. When your aim is to be kind and understanding, so much in your life starts to feel better. Despite what you may think, this way of thinking and acting is not for anyone else. But it is for you. It will have a nice effect on many people you come into contact with, but most importantly, it will make you feel good and you are the only one you really have any control over.



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