By Lauren Denos: 10/12/2015 (Mindset)

It is too easy to think that what we are doing is just not working but when you really look at it are you really doing what you need to be doing?

Here is the thing, most of us have been guilty at one time or another of saying we really want something, but our actions tell a whole different story.

Some common ways we see this manifest is when someone says:

  • I want to move up in the company, but when they ask you to work late on a project you say no or grumble about it, instead of seeing it as an opportunity to show them why you are so valuable.

  • Saying you want to be in better shape but skipping the gym because you feel like you have worked hard enough at work and you want to watch some TV.

  • Saying you want to get healthier, yet being unwilling to give up sugar and grains even though you know it makes you foggy headed and makes your stomach hurt.

  • Saying you want to meet a wonderful man to have a great relationship with, but you don't really want to go out. Instead you stay inside and watch netflix.

The list goes on and on. You may not be someone who does this, but many people, myself included have done this a time or two in our lives.

Let's look at this idea closer. We will use a nutrition issue as an example.

You say you want to be healthier, that you want to get rid of the horrible headaches that you know are caused by grains. But you give in whenever someone hands you a piece of cake or a croissant. You tell yourself “well, I am just doing it this one time, it is not going to hurt me”. The problem is that "one time" happens multiple times per week. Now you are dealing with headaches at least 4 days out of the week, because it takes an extra day for your system to recover. You keep saying that you want to get rid of these headaches and you don't know why you are having so many because you are eating good. You are eating good, except those few slip ups and that make a huge difference to your health when you are dealing with an allergy or a food intolerance.

The truth is, you don't want it bad enough. The short term joy from the cake is more important to you than feeling better. Because if you wanted to feel better bad enough you would do what you say you need to do. You need to make the reason to not eat this food way more important than the temporary enjoyment you will get out of it. How important is it for you to get rid of these headaches? What is it affecting in your life? Do you have children? Maybe you are not able to give them the kind of attention they need because you are in too much pain. Is your job suffering? Do you really want to lose your job over a piece of cake?

Perhaps you have not hit rock bottom yet. Most people when they have finally hit rock bottom will do whatever it takes to get better, whatever it takes to make the change. If you are not ready then you have not gone down the spiral as far as you can. But you have a choice, do you really need to hit rock bottom, or have you had enough? Are you strong enough to start from where you are right now and do the actions you need to do to create the health you want?

It can be a mind game, I know all too well. We see other people with none of the problems we are going through and think "I just want to be normal, and do what they are doing". Don't judge what you are having to go through against what other people do. Just because they can have cake and stay healthy does not mean anything. They may have something else they can't eat, or maybe they have other problems in their lives that do not have anything to do with food. The point is we all have issues. Don't judge yourself against anyone else, that is just going to send you down a spiral of hurt and depression. We are all different with different circumstances.

I know this might sound harsh and may not be something you want to hear, but I have had to say this to myself as well, multiple times. It is a major AHA moment. It is something you need to hear. I am not only writing these words for you but for me too. Don't just say you want something, take the action. How bad do you want it?

From now on you will think about what you really want. And when the opportunity comes along to do something that goes against what you are wanting to accomplish I want you to ask yourself "How bad do I want to achieve my goal?"

You have the strength, you maybe just forgot, now you remember. Make it happen!



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